The Beauty Battle
by Emily Horne
I woke up one morning and found out
that I'm old
My feet are tired and my bones are cold
I've got grey hairs growing in the
shape of a tiara
My boobs are migrating south to
Guadalajara.
My wrinkles are multiplying
My eyebrows stopped complying,
When wave goodbye to my mates
My arm fat reverberates
So here's what I need to fix this
disaster
gorilla glue, duct tape, bondo and
plaster
Shape-wear, hair dye, primer, and Spanx
Tweezers, and white strips, and Tom
Hanks.
I don't really need him, but I love him
dearly
I'll try to stay focused because I mean
this sincerely
A ton of work goes into being so foxy
It takes dedication, persistence and
epoxy
I knows it's nature's big grand plan,
But I'm not about to give up, man!
I'll hike 'em up and squeeze it in
I'll exfoliate and paint my skin
I'll glue on some hair and shave the
others
It's crazy! I know! And if cause if I
had my druthers
Hairy pits & saggy tits would all
the rage
A woman's body tells a story, an epic
tale of age.
Love.
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